Forgiveness
The Luke 11:9 series - As we forgive those who trespass against us …
Even as he was crucified between two criminals, Jesus asked God the Father to forgive his tormentors unconditionally, saying,
“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” [Luke 23:34]
One need not look further for the perfect example of granting forgiveness.The ethos of divine forgiveness is lucidly captured in the hymn, “Amazing Grace”; Hear this cover by famous country singer Alan Jackson.
Jesus gave us one of the most beautiful prayers ever, called The Lord’s Prayer: 'When you pray, say: "Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us day by day our daily bread. And forgive us our sins, For we also forgive everyone who is indebted to us. And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one.”' [Luke 11:2-4]
In teaching us the Lord's Prayer, Jesus teaches his Apostles and, by extension, all of us, his disciples to say the Lord's Prayer and live up to its ideals.
There are several gems hidden in this masterpiece. Let’s ponder on the forgiveness component. These three words may be the hardest to say, “I forgive you.”
In the course of our day and our lives, we interact with many different people in different situations, who sometimes think, say, or do (or fail to) things that seem like wretched betrayals.
The ego within us, demands retribution. The overwhelming feeling after this perceived affront that pervades our senses and better judgement screams, "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth".
Here again, Jesus says, '"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.' [Matthew 5:38-48]
Jesus cautions us to persist in forgiveness, just as he, Our Saviour and Redeemer, is ready to forgive us our constant failures, so too we must forgive our neighbors. He gave us this powerful parable too.
The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant [Matthew 18:21-35]
Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.
“But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ And he would not but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved and came and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ And his master was angry and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.
“So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”
The cathartic power of unconditional love and total forgiveness
It is said that holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the person responsible for the indignation to die. Quite futile. The Faustian bargain of indulging one's ego is the inevitable emptiness that results.
Here are three steps that have helped me reach unconditional forgiveness
- See the other person in their entirety, with their unseen struggles and challenges like Jesus sees inside each of us. Maybe the person is under duress looking after a terminally ill loved one, or in deep financial or emotional stress. Often the person closest to you will hurt out the most. Try to imagine the pain they are undergoing to inflict hurt.
- Remember to forgive without expecting any reciprocal action or words. This frees you from the need to seek retribution, validation or justification.
- Lastly, return hurt with love, unconditional love. This is counterintuitive but it acts like a balm to heal your soul and even de-escalate the situation.
There you have it - think of forgiveness and love, not as nouns denoting feelings but as actions you choose out of your free will. Even if the other party does not perceive or respond to this gesture, you've done something for yourself which is to unburden your soul of hatred and anger, replacing it with love and tenderness.
St. Thérèse of Lisieux (c. 1873-1897), affectionately called "the Little Flower," in her autobiography, "Story of a Soul," emphasized the importance of unconditional love and total forgiveness, reflecting Christ's immense love and divine mercy for mankind. She believed forgiveness to be essential for spiritual growth and inner peace, encouraging people to let go of grievances, so as to approach others with compassion and understanding - which restores harmony and pleases the Lord.
So try this next time you find yourself outraged, take a deep breath, say the Lord's Prayer and remember that Our Lord even in his darkest hour when crucified on the cross said, "Father forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing." [Luke 23:34]
Sacrament of Reconciliation
One of the unsung treasures of the Catholic Faith is the Sacrament of Reconciliation where the sins of a repentant person confessed to a priest are forgiven by the power of Jesus Christ, who after his death and resurrection told this to his Apostles, "Peace be with you! As the Father has sent Me, I also send you." And when He had said this, He breathed on them, and said to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained." [John 20:21-23]
Should you fall into sin, remember that our Lord and Redeemer is ready to embrace a repentant sinner - that's when the powerful Sacrament of Reconciliation, frees us from sinful patterns of behaviour and calls us to complete our conversion to Christ. Reconciliation heals our sins and repairs our relationships. Contrition and conversion lead us to ask forgiveness for our sins and to repair damaged relationships with God, self, and others.
The saint Padre Pio once said: “Confession is the soul’s bath. You must go at least once a week. I do not want souls to stay away from confession for more than a week. Even a clean and unoccupied room gathers dust; return after a week, and you will see that it needs dusting again!”
The Grace of God flows when we resist the temptation to return hurt and choose instead to respond with unconditional love and total forgiveness.
If you find forgiveness in your heart, trust me you also will find peace - a deep satisfying peace that ego can never ever give you.
Comments
Post a Comment
Please keep conversations courteous and on-topic. Kindly don’t engage in trolling, flame-baiting, name-calling, insulting, stereotyping or gratuitous attacks. Thank you for being a good citizen.